Memories of Tim by his sister Lucy

It has been a year since I received the devastating news about the sudden loss of my dear brother Tim. He was a deeply loved husband, brother, son, uncle, nephew, cousin, friend and godfather. We have all been doing our best to come to terms with a world without him, but it is still a struggle, and not something I will ever get used to.

Tim was a very special person to us all, he was intelligent, handsome, talented, funny, generous, thoughtful and above all, kind. He was the kindest person I’ve ever known, he would always go out of his way to help others, and his support is something I miss greatly.
 

Some examples of his kindness;
On my 40th birthday (2010), Tim and I were staying with friends in Brighton, unfortunately I had a very bad sciatica problem, and was in agony. That night I was in so much pain, I couldn’t sleep, so Tim camped on the floor beside my bed, and basically held my hand most of the night, something I will never forget.

In May 2019 I stayed at Tim and Chan's house for a night and had booked a bus to Gatwick from Sutton the next day. I was waiting for this bus, and Tim showed up saying he was concerned it hadn’t arrived yet. I said not to worry, and I carried on waiting as he went to a work meeting. Ten or so minutes later, he reappeared at the bus stop saying he had looked up my bus and there seemed to be a significant delay. He was so helpful and wanted to make sure I didn’t miss my flight to Ireland, and persuaded me to go with him on the train, and luckily, I got there in time.

When Daisy was travelling back from Canada in 2019 she had to change flights in London to get one back to Ireland. Tim drove to the airport to meet her, even though it was only for 20 minutes, so she could see a familiar friendly face on arrival. She said it was so good to see his face, as he handed her a coffee, and how much it grounded her and settled her after a very long journey.

These acts of kindness were a constant with Tim, he was always thoughtful and considerate and thinking of others.

Tim was the only person I’ve known whose hangover cure was blue cheese! After an evening of drinking the finest rioja, of which he was a connoisseur, you would often find him with his nose in the fridge, nibbling on some Stilton or danish blue! I believe Chan called it 'naughty cheese'.
 

Often when I was in the Uk, Tim and I would go to art galleries, the Tate Modern, RHA or Saatchi gallery were our favorites. I loved doing this with him as we would look around, aware of each other, but sometimes in different parts of the gallery, coming together to discuss a painting now and again, a very relaxing pastime. In October 2018 we got a boat from the Tate Britain to the Tate Modern, in the dark, with the lights of London all around, was so much fun. I’m glad we went to a gallery here in Sligo on his last visit to me in January 2020, and a lovely little bookshop, another of his favorite things, books and bookshops. I have a wonderful collection of art books on my shelves, mostly presents from Tim, he always gave me one relevant to my interests at the time, very observantly. I always assumed we would grow old doing these kind of things together.

Something that has been a comfort to me over this past very difficult year has been his music and his art. He left us with so many gifts to keep us going and I am very grateful for these. We have a book created of his paintings and drawings stemming back to his college days, a display of his very skilled and diverse talents, and endless patience and vivid imagination.

His lovely songs that he wrote and sang , have been so beautiful to listen to, and I often do, on my headphones, by the sea. I find it a comfort to hear his voice, but also I really love the songs, and his guitar playing skills. In fact he was a genius with any musical instrument he turned his hand to, guitar, cello, sitar, keyboards, piano… Dad remembers sitting on the stairs when he should have been out of the door to work, listening to him playing the piano, a mesmerizing sound.

Ali and I have been supplied with music compilations by Tim for many years, all named ‘What a Lovely Mix’ or W.A.L.M. for short, of which there are about 40. These too keep me going in my car, he was brilliant at finding atmospheric and ethereal sounds, carefully blended with more upbeat tracks or classical music scores. The CD covers are very interesting too, photographs or artwork, his sense of humor often shining through.

All these things and the heart warming stories and endless photos on this website help, to keep the memories of Tim going. But every day I miss him more and am still trying to find ways to move forward. The best way I can do this, is to try and bring his qualities forward with me, and know he would want us all to be well and happy.

It has been particularly hard in the present pandemic situation, and although we have met up last summer, we still want to throw a big memorial event for Tim. Unfortunately, we can’t do this yet, but as soon as we can, we will.


Miss you Tim, all the time,
wish you were here xx